You never give a child up for adoption expecting to have the adoptive parent die

You never give a child up for adoption expecting to have the adoptive parent die.  The last few months I have spent hours ruminating about this, about Steve dying and how it will impact Sam's life and the lives of others.  I have cried more tears for Sam and his family than I can relay but more importantly, I cried tears for Steve.  Steve was a good man and my friend.  I am very thankful for him.  This is what I said at his funeral:

I first met Steve when I was about four months pregnant with Sam. Jeff and I had been interviewing couples for a few weeks and had not met any that we liked. Most of the meetings with perspective parents were stiff and formal. No one seemed just right.
I was searching for someone who wanted an open relationship beyond once a year letters and meeting the child when they turned 18. When we met Steve and Diana, they handed us a photo album. The bulk of the album, to be quite frank, was a little boring. It contained pictures of Steve and Diana growing up and in their young adult years. Eventually, we got to the back of the album. There we found pictures of Thomas, who was almost four at the time, with his birth parents and his extended birth family. Seeing this proof that open adoption could work in that photo album was just a taste of what was to come.
To me, open adoption promises consistent contact and a regular knowledge about each other. What I was offered was much more. Steve and Diana embraced me and offered me a place in their family and their hearts. And while there are many lovely things I could say about Steve today the one thing I want to make clear is this: Steve had a place in my heart too and I shall forever be indebted to him for raising my son.